Everyone's Best is Different
We all do our best, but everyone’s best is different.
What is hard for one person, may be easy for another-- but hard is hard.
To the friend that can’t show up, not because she doesn’t want to, but because she doesn’t have the strength to face what’s in front of her.
I forgive you. I know you are doing your best.
To the friend that shows up but is distracted, intoxicated by a mind-altering substance, and therefore not present. Yes, you may be a burden at the moment, and you may cause anger in those around you. But I understand how hard it was for you to show up, so I forgive you. I know you are doing your best.
I used to think maybe you didn't care. When really, maybe you couldn't handle it because you cared too much.
I used to not understand this.
I have mistaken someone’s weakness or inability to cope with selfishness. But with time I have learned that everyone has different levels of hard, they can handle, and that's okay.
Realizing this has made me less resentful and more accepting of people for who they are.
People aren’t perfect—we are all doing our best.
Lastly, to the friend that takes on everything. Who shows up to everything and deals with the emotions and anxiety that comes with being fully present.
I see you too.
I see you getting there before anyone because you are a nervous wreck and that’s how you handle it—by action. I see you taking care of everyone---the friend that can’t handle it, the friend in need—you do everything.
I see you with all that strength, and I'm sorry you sometimes feel alone in how you hold everything together---but you are the heart.
Let’s remember, we all do our best, but everyone’s best is different.
Let’s give each other grace and appreciate each other’s boundaries.
About the author: Dani Sherman-Lazar
Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to two daughters. She has been published on Scary Mommy, Bluntmoms, The Mighty, ellenNation Project Heal, Love What Matters, Cafemom.com, Beating Eating Disorders, Her View From Home, Motherly, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Recovery Warriors, Kveller.com, Humorwriters.org, and That’s Inappropriate. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED (https://livingafulllifeaftered.com/) and like it on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/StrivingToBeFULLeveryday/)