Finding Joy Again

I have been sorting through my journals of when I was going through my journey of having an eating disorder and I came across a sentence that I had written.

The sentence was- 

“You know I haven’t had a good laugh in ages.”

At that time in my life there wasn’t anything to laugh about there wasn’t anything that brought me joy.

I wrote this in 2006 which was a really difficult year.

I had returned from going to Melbourne where I had attended a program for 3 weeks. I had to get a medical certificate from my GP to actually fly there. That was how unwell I was. Although I couldn’t see it myself.

I was blessed to be able to stay in a beautiful unit at no cost at all. Three whole weeks and the unit had everything even heated floors. I don’t know who the person was but I was grateful as I didn’t have to worry about the cost of my accommodation. 

 The program was amazing but coming back to Perth I didn’t have the same support and of course I relapsed.

I wanted to be happy, I wanted to be that confident girl who could just be at peace with herself.

I wanted to laugh and not worry what other people thought of me.

Joy took a while to come back into my life.

It didn’t come back overnight it was part of the journey, part of discovering who I was.

Now I laugh every day, sometimes at myself.

People notice my laugh and tell me that it is contagious, they tell me that they can hear me.

My laugh is loud and I make no apology about it.

I really am. 

Now I am making up for it.

I am discovering the joy in the little things.

There was a long time in my life where I didn’t laugh and now I am making up for it.

Let me encourage you, your joy will come back.

Find something that makes you smile, go and explore your neighbourhood, go and watch a funny movie.

You will laugh again, you will find that life is amazing. 

Look for joy in the little things.

Joy will find you.

Yes, lovely one you will find the joy in your life.

I believe this for you.


AUTHOR: Tracey Buckley

liana rosenmanComment