You may have rolled your eyes when you heard me call you that - A Warrior. I imagine you may not see yourself this way, but my wish for you this year is that you will come to see yourself that way.
It feels really hard to love and accept yourself right now. I know, because I have been there. I know because I hear from my clients all day how they struggle to see how awesome they are. And this makes me sad. It makes me angry. You see, I see my clients as these amazing and courageous fighters. They do such wonderful, interesting, brave things and I see them endure and overcome so much. My wish for you is that you will start to see yourself this way too.
You struggle with seeing where you flourish and sit with all the ways you think you suck. But I wish you would see what others see. I wish you could see yourself through the lenses of someone else. You are special. You are loved. You are adored. Again, I know you are rolling your eyes at me because you really doubt this to be true. But my wish for you this year is that you will know how special, loved, and adored you are.
My wish for you this year is that you can embrace your strengths.
This will not make you cocky, arrogant, or selfish. Don’t you see the strengths of someone you love? Don’t you look at your partner, your best friend, a close relative, your child and see awesome strengths and power? I wish you can learn to see that for yourself too.
I hope that you can see your flaws and not hate them or think they make you unworthy. Rather I wish that you see flaws as either areas of improvement or areas that you are just not meant to be good at. Then know it is OK to suck at some things too.
I wish for you to be kinder to yourself and not beat yourself up for all the things you see wrong.
It is Ok to acknowledge and admit to mistakes but I wish for you to know that you still have worth and value even when you screw up.
I wish you can learn to accept, and maybe even love your body.
You don’t have to think you are perfect. You don’t have to like the cellulite, the scars, and the imperfections. No I wish that you see the flaws and imperfections and know that despite that you are still valuable and worthy. That even with your body the way it is today you deserve fun, love, laughter, happiness, success, and health.
I wish for you to know that you can do mighty and wonderful things even without losing any weight, changing your appearance, dieting, working out or changing your shape.
I wish for you to know that you can do things just as you are right now. You feel like you are left out, you feel behind, you doubt yourself and your abilities and think that if you could just change yourself, and change your body then you would be better able to live the life you want. My wish for you is that you will realize you can live the life you want, right now, without making any changes.
I wish for you to live your life.
Like really live. Be present, be aware, have fun, laugh, cry, experience the things going on around you, rather than obsessing about food or your body. I wish for you to know that even in the daily meh you are enough. You don’t have to be extra, you don’t have to do anything extraordinary or remarkable to be enough. I wish for you to know that you are enough even though you laid on the couch today.
I want you to see your value and worth. It is there, and my wish for you this year, is that you will start to see that for yourself too. I want you to know you are OK, just as you are right now. I wish for you to know that each day, all day, you matter and you contribute and that you are important. You know those days where you struggle to get out of bed, or you lay your head down and wonder “what did I even accomplish today”? I wish that even on those days you know you are worthy, you have value and that you are OK.
I wish for you to give yourself permission to be all up in your feelings.
Feelings hurt and no one likes pain or emotional discomfort, But I wish for you to know it is OK to not be OK and that you are going to be OK. I know there is a lot of pressure out there to be “happy” “cheerful” and to “let go” of any emotional upset, but I wish for you to know that this is not realistic and that you can be not OK and still be a good person at the same time.
I wish you for you to know there is help.
You don’t have to suffer alone. There is no standard for “sick” enough. If you are struggling, sad, anxious, hurting, and tired of obsessing about food and your body, that is enough. I wish for you this year to know that you deserve help, you can have help, and asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
And that brings me to my last wish for you.
I wish for you to know that if you cry you are not weak.
If you are mad you are not a bad person. If you are anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed you are not crazy. If you are struggling with trauma memories and reminders - even if it happened a long time ago, you are not weak. You are human and us humans we are messy, complex, complicated, and interesting. You may not have a great support system, and that is not because you are not enough or unworthy. Sometimes you have to seek the best support for you during different times of your life. So my wish for you is to know that you are not alone, you are OK, and that you can be OK. There is hope for a life worth living. It is possible for you. I wish for you to believe that.
May 2019 bring you healing, hope, and happiness - and if it takes you all year to get there it is OK. If you are still seeking healing, hope, and happiness into 2020 and beyond that is OK too because you have the right to want to work on yourself forever and always.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dr. Stephanie Waitt
Dr. Stephanie Waitt resides in Sherman, TX. Stephanie is a therapist that specializes in treating eating disorders and is a body image, self-esteem, and eating disorder recovery coach. She works with young adults and teens to recover from disordered eating and find confidence and happiness. Stephanie is dedicated to helping individuals receive access to eating disorder treatment. She believes that everyone deserves quality and specialized treatment.
She is passionate about eating disorder awareness, dogs, and Wonder Woman. You can find her spending time with her husband visiting comic book stores or a craft brewery, and hanging out with her beloved Golden Retriever Prince Fenway and Corgi Lord Odin. You can learn more about Stephanie at www.texomaspecialtycounseling.com.