Tonight's post wraps up the first weekend of the new year. It is from student Jannessa Thomas. She hopes to one day become a singer/therapist and wants to get the world to change its definition of beauty.
Hi, I would like to take a second to tell all of you my story. My name is Jannessa Thomas. I have battled with some tough struggles. Ever since I can remember I have struggled with my weight. About two years ago I began to feeling really bad about myself so I told myself I would do something about it. So I went on several diets that would work, but not fast enough. So I decided to stop eating. I was losing weight fast, but I still felt like I was too big. So I would fast for four days then eat under 500 calories after that. This caused me to start to self harm. Every time I ate something bad, or if I gained weight, I would self harm to as I used to say "punish myself". I started to become really sick and I lost about 40 pounds in around 3 months. I needed help, but I couldn't ask for help. I felt like it would make it worse. I was screaming for help on the inside but I just couldn't speak up. Someone finally heard my call and took me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for about 4 days. In the hospital they monitored my eating and they made sure I was not harming myself in any way. After that I slowly started to get better, but about 2 months later I didn't like the number on the scale so I fell back into bad habits. If I ate I would self harm. I went a week without eating. And finally someone came around and was with me. Someone that helped me through a lot, when that person left my life I thought I was going to fall back into bad habits, but I didn't. This time I started recovery for myself. I started recovery because I deserve to be happy. To this day I am still in the process of recovering. I am still working on self confidence, but who doesn't struggle with that? "I've got shame and I've got scars"- Demi Lovato. I am really insecure about my scars that I have, but that's something that I have to work on because they are never going away. And I just want all you to know that you are beautiful in every single way. If you are ever feeling that your not good enough just know that you are so much more than good enough. You are you. And that should be enough for anyone that truly loves you. Don't let someone try and change you. No one can ever replace you. There's only one you in this world someone may copy but they will never be the original. Life is a like a book. You never know what happens unless you turn the page. If you don't move on from what's holding you back how are you going to know what can happen in the end? Each and every one of you is beautiful and special. No matter what anyone says just know that you are amazing and someone out there needs you. Recovery doesn't get a day off. Make sure to make your life a life to remember, and take that first step. A million mile journey starts with that first step. So are you willing to take it? I hope so.