COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT: “I LOVE ANA,” A SHORT FILM BY AYLSSA MULLINGS
In her stunning short film I Love Ana, writer and filmmaker Alyssa Mullings tackles the relationship between one girl, Mars, and her eating disorder. Alyssa Mullings has crafted a beautiful and moving exploration of an eating disorder based on her own personal experience. We are so honored to share this film with our Project HEAL community and hope that while it may be difficult to watch, it moves you the way that it moves us. Nothing brings us more joy than seeing someone recover from their eating disorder to go on and create something magical. And we have an extra special treat! Not only are we able to share the film with you, Project HEAL CEO Rebecca Eyre sat down with Alyssa for a one-on-one interview, posted below the film here.
CONTENT WARNING: This film contains explicit depictions of an eating disorder, including but not limited to, relationships with food, body, and exercise. We encourage you to check in with yourselves and watch at your own discretion.
REBECCA EYRE: Is this your first foray into filmmaking?
ALYSSA MULLINGS: No, I started making films when I was eleven years old with my sister and friends. When I was fifteen, I attended the New York Film Academy summer program and made a film with a cast and crew for the first time. I knew that summer I wanted to continue making films for the rest of my life. In college I have made several short films and worked on many film sets.
RE: How was it for you to make a film about such a personal, delicate, complex topic?
AM: Writing, directing, and editing I Love Ana was a very vulnerable, emotionally exhausting, yet rewarding experience for me. I wanted to share my story because I knew that it was important to show black and brown boys and girls dealing with the pressure of body standards. When putting my story out there, at first, I felt exposed. I did not want to be defined by what my seventeen-year-old self went through, and I did not want to be seen as a victim. Pitching my script to groups of people and having Sinclair Daniel, the brilliant actress who played Mars, wear my exact outfits and hairstyle from when I was in high school, was a very surreal experience; but I wanted this film to be as raw and transparent as possible. I am so proud that I shared my story because of all the people it has helped and inspired.
RE: It's striking that "I Love Ana" tells the story of so many layers of identity and experience that are rarely depicted when eating disorder stories get told: an immigrant, a Black girl, a boy... What was important to you about including those layers?
AM: It was important for me to include those layers to show that eating disorders can affect anyone. In film and television, black and brown boys and girls are never depicted with body insecurities and eating disorders. Usually, young white girls and women are shown having these struggles. Being a black girl and child of immigrants, made my experience more complex than most. In black culture, being bigger is more appreciated while in the ballet world it is the opposite. I had to deal with that pressure of not feeling thin or thick enough, and never feeling that my body was right. Around the world, mental illness is not talked about the way it is in America. It was difficult for my parents to understand what I was going through because eating disorders were not publicly discussed in Jamaica. I am happy that now mental illness is finally being taken seriously in black and brown communities. Additionally, eating disorders get labeled as a “female only” issue which diminishes men who struggle with them. Although there was not a Ziggy in my real life, I created that character to show how men suffer in silence with body issues. When I was in that group chat, there were quite a few men in there and I have also met men who have dealt with eating disorders. That was important for me to touch on.
RE: What do you think happens to the main character after the film ends? What's next in her story?
AM: Even though Mars and I are different, her character was based on my seventeen-year-old self, and I would hope her life continues to improve, the way mine has. I see Mars becoming a successful poet and advocate for mental health awareness. She also learns how to have a healthy relationship with food and dance, and overcomes her battle with perfectionism. I also see her helping Ziggy find a way to heal and let go of the unhealthy relationship he has with his body.
RE: What do you hope people who watch this film feel, learn, or do after seeing it?
AM: I want people to take away from this film that anyone can have body issues and eating disorders. It does not matter what race or gender you are. To some people, eating disorders can look bizarre since eating is a part of everyone’s lives. I even remember being in health class learning about anorexia and bulimia and thinking, “why would someone do this to themselves?” Eating disorders, however, take place in the mind and are more complex than just “wanting to be skinny”. It is centered around the fixation and illusion of control. It is very anxiety based and is a toxic cycle of “restriction and reward.” Many people who suffer with them are usually dealing with a lot of anxiety, stress, past trauma, lack of stability, and resort to that to feel more power over their bodies and lives. I hope people can also take away that there is always hope and ways to get help to overcome these struggles. You can recover and live a healthy prosperous life!
RE: What's next for you as a filmmaker?
AM: Right now, I am editing my new experimental short film called Fever and will be submitting that into film festivals soon! The film follows a young woman dealing with past trauma, who enters the psychedelic club Fever, which is a place said to open your unconscious mind and create a self-awakening as long as you listen to the Fever Queen... Stay tuned!
If you’re looking to get involved with Project HEAL, consider making a tax-deductible donation to our BIPOC Treatment Equity Project, a fund dedicated solely to BIPOC with eating disorders who are unable to access the life-saving treatment they need and deserve.
Alyssa Gabrielle Mullings is a first-generation Jamaican-American film director, screenwriter, and editor from New Jersey. She has always been drawn to all forms of art, and began performing, dancing, writing, and painting at age three. Creative writing and poetry are what led her to fall in love with screenwriting, and when she was a young girl, she would direct and record her friends and family members to make her artistic visions come to life. At age fifteen she attended the New York Film Academy summer program, and now makes short films that focus on controversial social issues, psychology, and spirituality. Her autobiographical short film, I Love Ana, has been accepted into film festivals all over America and Jamaica. I Love Ana has been written about in articles such as In the Rooms: A Global Recovery Community and in Jamaica’s most prestigious newspaper enterprise, The Gleaner. Her most popular video on YouTube, Meditation for Black Women | Self Love & Healing, has reached over 77,000 views and has been promoted on The Sisters Letter website. She graduated Montclair State University with a BFA in filmmaking and is currently interning for BBC Studios.