THE REALITIES OF TREATMENT AS A BIPOC
Written by Edna Dawit
I graduated high school with the hope and excitement that freshman year of college would live up to its image. It all came to a stop when a few traumatic situations occurred within the two weeks prior to leaving for college. My mental health began to plummet. I felt unworthy and unsatisfied with who I was and took control of the only thing I thought I could control: my weight.
I was surrounded by beautiful women who did not look like me. The color of my skin made me feel like I was at a disadvantage. I tried everything to look prettier and attractive, which only made me more insecure.
I realized the lengths I took to achieve this unattainable goal were detrimental. I needed help but I was too scared. I learned in class that Black Women are the least likely to have eating disorders and it broke me. I felt completely invalidated. Were doctors going to believe me if I sought treatment? Would a therapist believe me? Would my parents deem my treatment important? The countless stereotypes used against Black women overwhelmed me.
As I began treatment, I noticed I began downplaying how much my ED consumed me. I did not want to seem “dramatic”.
I thought I could fix the eating disorder myself and be the strong Black Woman the world wanted me to be. I tried to deflect how much the color of my skin truly affected how I saw myself.
I realized that the only way to fight this battle is to be truly honest with yourself, recognize the hurt that had been caused, and fight against it.
That is when I began dismantling the stereotypes that were constantly in the background of my head when meeting with physicians and mental health professionals. I deserved help just as much as a white woman. The second I realized I deserve recovery, everything changed. I started to assert myself when talking to my physician and therapist.
I think often of other Black girls like me feeling undeserving and it breaks my heart. No matter your race, ethnicity, or age you deserve treatment, support, and love.
Edna Dawit (she/her/hers) is a Project HEAL Ambassador. She is currently a college student and is in recovery from her eating disorder.