How Mindful Self-Compassion Can Support Your Eating Disorder Healing
Self-compassion is more than just a wellness hashtag on social media. It’s a powerful tool that research shows can nurture healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation, while also reducing shame, anxiety, depression, self-criticism, body dissatisfaction, and eating disorder symptoms.
But what does it mean to cultivate self-compassion? Let’s talk about what it is, how it intersects with mindfulness, and how practicing mindful self-compassion supports eating disorder healing.
What Does It Mean to Practice Mindful Self-Compassion?
Mindful self-compassion is a framework created by Dr. Kristin Neff, psychologist and co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion (CMSC). Dr. Neff defines self-compassion through the lens of three core elements:
Kindness
Common Humanity
Mindfulness
Neff explains that self-compassion creates room to accept that suffering, mistakes, imperfections, limitations, and even failure are baked into the human experience. Instead of reacting to these inevitable challenges with harsh criticism or feelings of inadequacy, self-compassion encourages you to respond with:
“This is difficult right now. How can I care for myself in the moment?”
Dr. Neff compares it to how you might comfort a friend, with warmth and understanding. Self-compassion does not mean you aren’t accountable to learn and grow when you fall short. But it does mean you’re free to do this without shame.
What Makes it Mindful?
According to Neff, mindfulness is simply an aspect of self-compassion, which allows for greater ease in the hardships of life. She explains:
“Mindfulness and self-compassion both allow us to live with less resistance toward ourselves and our lives. If we can fully accept that things are painful, and be kind to ourselves because they’re painful, we can be with the pain with greater ease.”
In other words, mindfulness, when combined with self-compassion, allows for self-awareness to validate your own pain and be present with yourself in a judgment-free space.
When you combine mindfulness and self-compassion, it becomes easier to process your emotions, rather than avoiding or over-identifying with them.
Mindful Self-Compassion and Eating Disorder Healing
Folks with eating disorders are often resistant to self-compassion. For instance, they might fear that self-compassion will make their flaws more visible to others, thus affecting their relationships or achievements. They also might assume it will make them more vulnerable to difficult emotions such as grief, overwhelm, distress, hurt, or anger.
This fear of self-compassion frequently stems from rigid traits, like perfectionism and anxious rumination, which can fuel eating disorder symptoms.
However, combating those mental barriers to self-compassion early in the treatment process has been shown to increase resilience and motivation to heal from eating disorder behaviors, the journal continues. Folks who lean into self-compassion are also more willing to explore the emotional roots of their illness and embrace healthier coping mechanisms.
Another study found that self-compassion can alleviate feelings of failure around size, weight, or appearance. This reduces susceptibility to behaviors, like body shame and surveillance, which minimizes the urge to conform to Western culture’s narrow expectations of beauty, the research points out.
Mindfulness takes this even a step further. Practicing mindful awareness teaches you how to notice thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations as they happen, without criticizing them or necessarily acting on them.
For example, if you think: “I feel uncomfortable in my current weight,” mindfulness can train you to acknowledge that’s just how you feel in the present.
It’s a neutral thought, there’s no need to attach your sense of worth to it, or take steps to control your weight because of it.
TL;DR
While mindfulness keeps you rooted in the moment, self-compassion encourages you to choose kindness over shame, judgment, and criticism. When these two practices join forces into one overarching technique, it can help you confront the intrusive thoughts, anxious ruminations, internalized false narratives, or emotional dysregulation that contribute to harmful behavior. This creates space for healing to follow.
Integrate Mindful Self-Compassion Into Your Healing
There are so many incredible benefits to practicing mindful self-compassion, especially when healing from an eating disorder. Here are some simple practices and ideas to help you integrate it into the work you’re already doing.
Start with awareness and gentleness.
When you notice an intrusive thought about your appearance, lean into it with curiosity. Pause and ask yourself: “What does this thought reveal about how I feel right now? Can I make room for these emotions with kindness, rather than acting on them or shaming myself for them? And can I honor this as a normal facet of the human experience?”
You could also use body neutral affirmations, such as: “My value is not measured by how I look and what I weigh,” or, “I don’t always have to feel comfortable in my own skin to still accept myself.”
Identify barriers to self-compassion.
Use a journal to reflect on the areas where self-compassion feels daunting. Name these fears in a non-judgmental capacity. For instance:
“I am afraid self-compassion will cause me to enter an emotional spiral with no off-ramp.”
“I am afraid I’ll feel too unworthy and unlovable to face my own shortcomings.”
Once you can spot barriers to self-compassion, it’s easier to mindfully examine whether those narratives are true. (Hint: research shows that compassion leads to higher self-worth and lower emotional distress—not the other way around.)
Create mindful, compassionate rituals.
On average, it can take anywhere from 2–5 months of consistent practice to form a sustainable habit. If you want mindful self-compassion to stick for the long-term, you need to commit to it on a daily basis.
The good news is, even small routines can reinforce self-compassion as a natural response to uncomfortable emotions, difficult situations, or personal limitations. If you don’t know where to start, a simple but effective ritual to incorporate is the Quick Six Practice, which reminds you to slow down and make time for the following:
Drink water
Breathe
Step outside
Move the body
Be still
Invite gratitude
Build a toolkit using CMSC resources.
Dr. Kristen Neff has a wealth of resources available on the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion website.
Whether you’re looking for a meditation to start the morning, a podcast to listen to on your commute, or an online group you can build compassion and community with, use the resources below to create your own mindful self-compassion toolkit:
Ready for Healing with Mindful Self-Compassion?
Sometimes you need the support of a licensed professional to integrate techniques such as mindfulness and self-compassion into your eating disorder recovery. We also know that getting this help can be challenging for many people.
That’s why Project HEAL is here to remove the financial and structural barriers that can make treatment hard to receive for as many folks as we can. Learn more about our treatment access programs now.
